The date.

Today I went on a date.

Now it wasn't just any regular date, this was a first date; my first date. 

I've never gone on a date before and never had a real boyfriend before; mostly because no one has ever asked me out before. For years I have tried to figure out why, but more on that later.

Okay it's later. Well I still don't know for sure why, and I probably won't ever. My suspicions, however, is that God simply didn't want me to.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying God is against dating, not at all. I'm simply saying in my case, He just didn't want me to. I tend to obsess over things and overthink them, as most of us ladies do. But over the past few months I've been growing up. I've been letting go of things and not worrying anymore. Before I was very passive aggressive but now I'm just passive, with aggressive tendencies ;) but seriously I've learned to let go of a lot of anger and just chill. If something happens, it just happens.

When I went on my date, I wasn't worried at all about if the guy liked me, which to be honest is a little weird. I was more worried about my appearance before hand. I think I convinced myself that if he didn't like me, that wasn't my fault and I think that's how our mindset should be in situations like that.

The biggest thing I learned from this date, was that God loved me. 

Okay I know what you're thinking, umm Bethany, I think you missed the point of a date there champ... 

But I don't think I did at all. The point of a godly relationship is to bring you closer to God, point blank. We can say dating has other purposes, but that's what it's supposed to be no matter how we try to kid ourselves. As I was getting ready and trying on different shoes, I felt special. I felt important. And I felt loved. God had blessed with an opportunity of a date, even when I did it against him out of self and longing for love. I think he allowed me to go to reassure me that he had the love I was looking for. I felt like a princess and I felt taken care of, by God not necessarily my date. 

The point of all this, is God really does want to lavish on you whether you follow his plan or not. I haven't been the best Christian over the past few months but now I'm trying again. I'm making a conscience effort to please my king, not out of an obligation for his love but to show him I love him, as a gift.